“The Office” Quotes, A Love Language
Well, boys and girls. It’s high time we give you a little glimpse into the Kowalske household. If you know us, you may know that dialogue from “The Office” has become (admittedly lazy) shorthand around here.
The following is how Jared and I navigate everyday conversations using words we did not come up with.
Follow for more marriage tips.
“She’s going to be screaming her own last name?”
From “Doomsday.” Season 8, Episode 6.
When we say it: In dead silence, just to see if we can get each other to laugh. This other gem accomplishes the same thing, but we often can’t get even through Dwight’s deadpan delivery.
“I feel weird.”
Kelly telling Toby, “I feel weird.”
From “Goodbye Toby.” Season 4, Episode 18.
When I say it: Whenever I can’t quite describe how I’m feeling. See, when I’m quiet for too long, Jared will gently ask me, “what’s up, baby?” (translation: “Are you okay? Have I done something wrong? Which DEFCON are we at here?”). I hit him with this response when I know something is off but I don’t yet have the words to justify why.
“Don’t try to cut my throat.”
From "“Manager and Salesman.” Season 6, Episode 16.
When I say it: Uhh, more often than you’d think. Jared usually sports a short beard, and I am extremely ticklish. When he leans in to hug me, he (often purposefully) brushes my neck with his prickly beard. Meredith really sums up my sentiments here.
“The skin is the largest organ of the body.”
From “Golden Ticket.” Season 5, Episode 19.
When we say it: Every so often, we’ll ask each other what we’re thinking. It turns out that some brains are capable of not having any thoughts at a given time. Like I’ll ask Jared what he’s thinking about and he’s “not lying” when he says “nothing.” Suspicious. Anywho, he knows that he can dodge baffled glances from me if he simply reminds me of this fun fact.
“This is violent and offensive.”
From “Secretary’s Day.” Season 6, Episode 22.
When we say it: ALL. THE. TIME. We are easily offended around here.
“Mint, Dwight?”
From “Phyllis’ Wedding.” Season 3, Episode 16.
When we say it: We only use the Dwight-mocking-Jim iteration of this line (found at about 0:43 in this clip). We whip it out whenever one of us mumbles something to the other.
“This is geological.”
From “Manager and Salesman.” Season 6, Episode 16.
When we say it: Whenever something smells off, including when someone says something fishy.
“Maybe we’ll go outside!”
From “Sabre.” Season 6, Episode 15.
When we say it: Jared and I recently had Covid, and we would say this to each other, just eager to be anywhere other than inside our house. Apparently, we weren’t the only ones who made this connection, especially as we all navigated the early days of quarantine.
Bonus: “Then it’s a date.”
From “The Job.” Season 3, Episode 25.
Why I love it: This is my vote for the best scene in television history. Jared essentially reenacted this little set-up when he asked me out for the first time in college. He caught me off guard, stood in the doorway, worked this line in, and walked away casually - the whole shebang. So when I watch Pam tear up, I tear up. Hard. No matter how many times I watch this, it just doesn’t get old.
PS: The included episode numbers line up with those listed on Peacock as of the date of this writing. Enjoy!
